The Want-Away: Day Two.

Day Two: sitting outside a club in Kisumu, listening to this song...the lyrics... had to find them and share!


'Let's dance in style
Let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit
Life is a short trip
The music's for the sad man

Fear not where, fear not why, fear not much while we're alive
Life is for living not living uptight
til you're somewhere up in the sky
Fear not die I'll be alive for a million years bye bye's are not for legends i'm forever young my name shall survive
Through the darkest blocks, over kitchen stoves, over Pyrex pots, My name shall be passed down to generations while debatin' up in barber shops
Young slung, hung here, showed that a nigga from here, With a little ambition, just what we can become here.
And as the father pass the story down to his son's ear younger get younger every year (yeah)
So if you love me baby this is how you let me know, Don't ever let me go, thats how you let me know, baby '''

Jay Z and Mr. Hudson

The Want-away: Forever Young.

Don't you find it funny when everyone seems to know the direction to someplace, yet they all are shit wrong?
Five hours wandering, asking for directions, and I can not, I had not found where the buses to Kampala were! To make matters worse, I was now hungry. And the power of music steps in. 'Forever young, I wanna be, forever young...do you really want to live, fovere young...'

That was me humming out my hunger and praying I get som'thin' to eat. Yeah, finally, Kampala coach, purely by accident! I was going to pee, literally, on a signpost and there I was..the buses I was after. Did I have the fare...talk of Kenyans being the most helpful, I was just about to find out. I asked for a lift. See, I had no one here I knew, that was the only option. plus the talk was all over, bad boy gone rogue- worst. I had done enough crying, yes... don't look at me like that, and now, I just wanted to laugh. Laugh at myself, laugh at ya'all and your hypocrisy, laugh at my problems, and your sanity. I was not going hike on their bus to Kampala. Simple! so I started to laugh.... and they all thought I was mad. But I was happy.

I sat there, listening to myself, and the intermittent squelch of overfed kids. And went through my life. I wanted to see my daughter, and the only way to see 'er was going on to Kampala. How? I was born to struggle, to live, to win, and this was not going to be another war. The battle was won. I hit the highway, threw away the bag with my clothes, remained with a rucksack with a pair of fresh clothes and waited for a truck. It came, and I jumped in between the tires. That is how I got to Kisumu. sitting in between two menacing tires knowing a slight error and they crush you. But I made it to Kisumu. Man to man.

The want-away: Rush into Destruction

'You rush into destruction / 'Cuz you don't have nothing left'

I have a few issues with human nature, but the greatest of it all is that, it is human nature! not much to do about it. From brothers to friends, to whatever. Human nature. From forgiveness to understanding to cussin'! The conversations I had with myself in J-burg shoulda been enough, but the curse stills tands, to have it all, lose it all, then go on a self discovery, a journey into the unknown, and come out stronger or devastated depending on personal choices.

Take for instance on arrival in Nairobi; 4.30 morning, he came to pick me, yes....asked where I had been all this while...course I lied. But he could not take me home. Didn't trust me, 'common thug' he called me! was that 's'possed to be my own blood and flesh? so there I am dumped on Ngong rd to find my way out. But where? See, I just came back bro', where do I go to? no friends, no enemies...no one. Nada!

Ha! to laugh, and to live, No one just knows how therapeutic more than me. so, there I am standing, and laughing after being dropped off coz he getting late for work, and thinking...with no cash, to go back to town....walk, or just stand there and pray? well, me decide to go to an old acquittance, and ja, she welcome me. But deep down, strictly coz she be christian, else she wouldn't. Then am making calculations but not much, to go home....what will Momma think? go stress her already stressed head thinkin' of what the prodigal son will turn out, or to hit my dictates on the rough streets? Them that know say life's full of choices, and personal dearie.

I am going to Kampala, to start it out, finish the journey on discovery and just start out a new chapter of my life, but how to reach there is the issue. I am not monied. My cards, all gone! just me and a bloody passport. I know times get hard, but if I did the worst, while at it, why not. I stretch my patience.

She drop me in town, this cute friend of mine, and guess what, everything's changed. Bloody changed. I don't know where I am, yet this is the same city I ruled with an iron fist! I don't want stressing her asking her where to start, so she drops me off, and yes, for the second time in less than an hour am just being dropped off like Luggage. Na hard feelings, am luggage, extra baggage they call it. and I understand. Now, during the good days, me used to hop onto a plane and catch it to Kampala, well, even Kisumu was by plane. I am standing there and am thinking, I do not even know where road buses to Uganda are to be found! But I can ask! and that my fellow breathren, begins my wandering in alien alleys I thought I knew. And it is just day one in Kenay!

THE WANT-AWAY: From the Coma, onwards

'The want-away is everything, picking up from where I left, before my sojourn, and goes on from there. See, it is conversations with myself. Little tidbits that I entered into my little black book, and now have decided to take them digital. Purely my life, since the coma, and onwards. I really want-away, and that is why it is so. So, be it.' E.D

Leaving OR Tambo was kinda weird. like I expected it, like I didn't. But I bet the problem was, what to expect back home. Being away for most part of the year did not help matters, and the wagging fingers of course. But the determination was there certainly. I wanted to go back home, be the best a dad could be to her daughter and all that.

In the chilly sequins of the airport, I sat alone, deliberating on what I had lost. Really, lost? with a movie partly based on my life due for filming, a book under wraps, well, not much, but friends, yeah right. I had none. But I could care less. I was still the self propped bastard and not much could change that.

My flight came and I looked back. Back at the empty seat I had occupied a few minutes earlier. a sigh and I walked forward, head held high. It was my life, and I was the want-away. Nothing could change that. But where was I headed to, into the unknown? I knew my landing, like the kids at the airport had insisted is Nairobi. I was not to alight any other place. well, what with a coppa on you to make sure u r in Nairobi?

It seemed like ages, but fact, I don't think. I was kinda scared...of starting all over again, but I was happy, my conscience was clean at last. I had atoned for all of 'em sins against ye happy folks. I was ready to watch the sky and dance with the stars yet again.

'i've come to realize that we never stop loving the people who leave. we just stop needing them like we used to....'